So tomorrow is July 7th huh? Well that is going to be one depressing day. Tomorrow is my Grandmas birthday and for those of you who don't know she pasted away on April 21. I want everyone of you who says that the pain will get better or that it will go away to stop telling bullshit lies! This pain will never go away although it may lessen ( I highly doubt that too) I was way too damn close to her for it to just go away. Every damn day I think about her and every day i start thinking that I am really deeply depressed. Although the world may not see me that way believe me when I say I am. This pain reaches to the bottom of my soul and I think that it is starting to pull me down with it. I will not and still do not accept the fact that she is really gone. She will be there in her gown on her bed in her trailer when I go over to visit her.... But who and the hell am I kidding the only one over there is my drunk ass uncle who stole from her and lied to her and used her to get his next fixed. The money came from kentucky from her retirement. she had no Life insurance so this 5000 is all that the family is going to get. Her funeral hasn't even been paid for yet because we have been waiting on this check, meaning my mom and I, but there is a catch--- it is going to the stupid, jobless drunkards! So my mother who was also one of my grandma's children will probably never see this money that was previous agreed to go towards the cost of the funeral. So it looks like my mother will get stuck with paying this and never see it or get help from my grandma's other to children.
So everyday I am reminded of my Grandmother and everyday the pain only gets stronger not weaker. So all fo you giving the false sense of hope GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! Cause i don't need anymore shit than I already have.